Experiments in Leg Shaving

I consider myself an early adopter.  That, coupled with the fact that I can be really stupid sometimes, made me decide to try out "bladeless shaving."  I've seen it on commercials a lot lately.  It's this shaving gel called Veet, and you use a razor-shaped piece of plastic that has no blade.  It cost less than $10 so I figured, why not.  I find shaving to be really annoying, so maybe this would be better.
 
Well, first I check the ingredients and #2 is urea.  Yuck!  Whose?!  I read the precautions and it says "Failure to follow use directions and precautions may result in chemical burns."  Ok...but now I paid money for this stuff so I decide to trudge on.  It says to do it inside an empty tub to avoid spillage on carpet or clothing.  Geez.  You're supposed to try a patch out and wait 24 hours to make sure you don't have any allergic reactions, but who wants to wait that long?  So I spread the gel as evenly as possible on both legs.  It says to wash hands immediately afterwards.  I'm a little freaked out as it is, and my hands are starting to tingle so I don't really get as much gel on as I wanted, but I move to the handwashing phase.  Now you leave it on for 3 minutes.  But how much time did I spend washing my hands?  I decide to wait 2 minutes 30 seconds.  Then you're supposed to try a spot and see if the hair removes.  I try and no dice.  Then I realize, I did the other leg first, so I try that, and it works.  Sort of.  I work on that leg and realize it's taking me a long time.  Uh-oh.  It says all over the bottle DO NOT EXCEED 8 MINUTES.  Now I'm frantically fake-shaving this gel off.  I miss lots of spots.  Hair is sort of coming off.  Time is ticking away.  My legs feel kind of weird and I decide to bail out and turn on the shower.  It doesn't seem to rinse off.  There's still a film on my legs.  I try soap.  More soap.  Eventually I just dried them.  Now I'm not allowed to swim, sunbathe, or use astringent lotion for 24 hours.  This is INSANE.  I'm supposed to wear a short skirt tonight.  Ack!
 
I'm going to have to put the Veet away with the other nightmare products such as Instead.  They should really put a message on the label that says "Not for paranoid people."