The LDR

If you know what an LDR is, I feel bad for you, because it probably means you're part of the club. There's a feeling of solidarity among members since nobody wants to be in the club.

A: How's the LDR?
B: It sucks. How's yours?
A: Actually, she's coming this weekend.
B: Lucky you! How long has it been?
A: Almost six weeks. :-(
B: Bummer. How are things going?
A: Not great. We almost broke up last week. I don't know how much longer I can do this.
B: Can't she get a job out here?
A: Nah. They don't have a good Ph.D. program in ___ out here.
Blah blah blah

LDRs are such a strange thing. They're certainly a downer when it comes to conversation. Week 5 is always the worst. I'm not sure why but it's so impossible to go for 5 weeks without seeing someone you love. You kind of lead 2 lives - one in your head (and sometimes on the phone) where you're together, and the other one is your real life. Neither is complete - both have something missing. It's like you have this incomplete existence, never quite satisfied. When you do see each other it's artificial because someone is visiting, so you're together at all times and you can't really see what their life is like since you're affecting it. Everything is planned. You can't just be like "Hey what's up? Want to come over and hang out?" Well you can, but the other person always says, sorry I can't really catch a flight right now. When your upset and in need of sympathy, the cellphone-photo combo isn't exactly good for cuddling.

As I see it, there is one major advantage of the LDR. The surprise visit. I often encourage other members of the club to try it out. It takes some planning and a few white lies, but it's totally worth it to see someone's expression when you wake them up in the morning with a kiss. There can definitely be some confusion involved. Often I find myself fantasizing about surprise visits. I walk around a corner and there he is, B, with his great big smile. Lots of hallucinations. It's good for the imagination.

My long distance relationship has lasted what seems like forever. It's kind of amazing that it lasted so long. At times it's gotten really frustrating, but obviously it (he) is worth the wait. The really amazing thing is that I'm finally going to lose the LD part of the LDR in 9 days. I can't even imagine it. I'll be out of the club. Ben's picking me up at the airport. It still doesn't seem real to me.

Of course I'll miss all the fine gentlemen of Seattle. Maybe B will buy me a hotdog on a streetcorner in downtown Boston... And Karen, who will I go shopping with? Who will wear fun skirts with me? Maybe you should come to Boston. S won't mind. LDRs aren't so bad...