morning after text

One of my friends actually sent this text to a girl the morning after their first encounter:

"how is your day going? so sleepy -- dozed off during our morning meeting. And .. the boys still ache a bit ;-)"

Heart vs. Head

When the two are in contention, which is it wiser to follow, one's head or one's heart? This question has plagued me for longer than I care to admit. My tendency, as an emotional, passionate, Scorpio, is to follow my heart. By "following your heart," I mean listening to gut feelings, chemistry, those things that just make you smile and feel like you're on drugs even when you're not. Giving in to these feelings can lead to a higher level of happiness than one can achieve with just the thinking mind. However, the heart is blind to the mundane realities of everyday life, which can result in extended lulls of unhappiness between the moments of bliss. If it does not at least balance out, you could end up with a net unhappiness, which makes me question whether those high-highs are worth the low lows. My brain sees this quite clearly, as an unwise life strategy, but my heart loves those highs so much that it's willing to make huge sacrifices.

Following my head has worked a lot better for me, in terms of net happiness, although it always seems like a fight against my natural tendencies. Hopefully following my rational left-brain will lead to situations where my heart is in agreement with my head. That would be the goal - a somewhat stable emotional state that is trending upward and sprinkled with the occasional upward spike. Experience tells me that it is wiser to follow my head, although I have a low level of confidence in that answer. The question itself is somewhat flawed in that it insinuates that the answer is binary and constant. Someone truly wise would know when to prioritize one's heart over one's head and vice versa. For those of us still seeking clarity, it would be useful to have a default.

dating advice

now that i'm single, i'm suddenly feeling less qualified to give dating advice, although I still do it, when people ask. just did actually - i told the guy to go for it, so i hope the girl accepts! the past week a few people have mentioned this black bible-type book called "the game." i might have to check it out, although i feel like i could write my own little list of rules. too bad i don't always follow them. the thing about dating is that it's so simple and straightforward but everyone (including myself) makes it into these crazy, complicated scenarios which can sometimes result in ridiculous situations. i guess that's what makes it fun too. maybe if you can't get past the analytical awkward stuff, then it wasn't meant to be.

non-sequitor: why are so many of the cute guys on myspace gay??? no fair!

September 11

It's one of those weird days. September 11th. I have to wonder what will happen next. I know people are still healing from 5 years ago. I wonder if NY will be hit again or if it will be some other city. I know this blog is a little "weird" as I was recently told by an old friend. If you're looking for my day-to-day posts then you should be reading my plain old day-to-day blog: http://kate.spaces.live.com. This blogspot blog is more random thoughts and non-sequitors. I kind of like this one better which is why I've kept it alive.

nightmares

I woke up to a strange sound last night at 2am, and I was up for over an hour all freaked out. I think it was just the wind that opened my bedroom door, and the fact that I had watched "Without a Trace" just before going to bed. These were the times when I used to call b and he'd stay on the phone with me while I checked the apartment for intruders. I didn't have anyone else to call at 2am, so I just dealt with it myself. Independent woman? Um...right.

magic moments

gg used to make fun of me because he would always somehow know if i were "having a moment." it all started on the beach one day and i probably threw sand at him or something cuz he had called me out. well this past weekend was full of moments of introspection, revelation, connection, inspiration, appreciation, and elation. it's not often that i have multiple moments in a day that are big enough for me to call moments, but the weekend really was something. it was probably the combination of people joking around, a couple of long drives with good music, getting away from the city, being in nature with water and trees, being surrounded by art, great music, and some good dessert that allowed me to stop being so high-strung for a little while. it's nice to just relax. i think i've been taking everything a little too seriously lately.

this newfound phobia of mine is becoming quite the comedy among my friends. it's so dumb that i can't help but laugh and laugh and laugh at myself. i'm not all that worried about it. i'm sure it'll work itself out.

Lurking

Somehow I came upon this random girl's blog and felt like she said the kind of things that I often think about but wouldn't publish. I've been reading it for years. http://crowcountersblog.blogspot.com/ I'm rooting for this girl. I hope she finds her guy. She way overthinks things the same way I do and I love her for it.