letters that never get sent

do you ever write someone a letter and not give it to them? i do this every once in a while when i have things i want to say, but i don't think the recipient necessarily needs to hear the things. it's more of a cathartic activity. but if somebody wrote me a letter i would want to read it. what do you think? should i send my latest letter?

oh, and thanks for all your support for my medical procedure. it was totally scary since they were putting this needle into my hip joint, but it hardly hurt at all since they numbed it up, so turns out there wasn't anything to be worried about. i still have a bruise from it, and it hurt for like 3 days after but it was nowhere near what my imagination led me to believe. i told my doctor that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as he said it would be and he said most people find it very very uncomfortable. guess i'm tough. or lucky. or both!

fear is a great motivator

not sure why but i've been especially freaked out about my mri appoinment tomorrow when they're going to inject dye into my hip. look it up if you want - it's called an arthrogram. i haven't looked it up because if it's going to really suck i think i'd rather not know. (the doctor said it would be very uncomfortable. the nurse said it was nothing but a simple injection.)

anyway, this dread over a (probably) simple medical procedure is making me think i should eat better, exercise more, and do whatever else i can to prevent more doctor appointments. so far i've managed to avoid ever being put under. craziest things that have happened to me include hairline fracture of my elbow (basketball-related), removing impacted wisdom teeth (i asked to stay awake to avoid the iv), and probably worst was when i dislocated my kneecap and the doc had to put it back (soccer try-outs in 8th grade). none of them were preventable including this hip thing i have now, but i want to keep this list as short as possible.

i dreamt about crazy needles last night. they better not find any problems that need surgery.

if i close my eyes maybe they won't see

it doesn't work that way