The life and times of kathleen

iPhone Apps

2009-10-14T15:18:00.001-07:00

I'm working on iPhone Applications now. Check out KandyApps (www.kandyapps.com). Andy and I make apps together. So far we have Drink Up and Drink Up Lite (hot-potato type drinking game). Version 2.0 is coming out in the next few days. Also Girls Night, a bachelorette party game. BouncyMaze is a maze game where you tilt the phone to bounce a ball around a maze. And the first one I worked on is Guess the Number, which is for young kids to help them with number sense - a very simple number guessing game. The KandyApps blog goes into details. Definitely more apps to come. Coding is fun!

2008-08-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

b gets married tomorrow. i called him today to wish him good luck and congratulations. so weird...

letters that never get sent

2008-07-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

do you ever write someone a letter and not give it to them? i do this every once in a while when i have things i want to say, but i don't think the recipient necessarily needs to hear the things. it's more of a cathartic activity. but if somebody wrote me a letter i would want to read it. what do you think? should i send my latest letter?

oh, and thanks for all your support for my medical procedure. it was totally scary since they were putting this needle into my hip joint, but it hardly hurt at all since they numbed it up, so turns out there wasn't anything to be worried about. i still have a bruise from it, and it hurt for like 3 days after but it was nowhere near what my imagination led me to believe. i told my doctor that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as he said it would be and he said most people find it very very uncomfortable. guess i'm tough. or lucky. or both!

fear is a great motivator

2008-07-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

not sure why but i've been especially freaked out about my mri appoinment tomorrow when they're going to inject dye into my hip. look it up if you want - it's called an arthrogram. i haven't looked it up because if it's going to really suck i think i'd rather not know. (the doctor said it would be very uncomfortable. the nurse said it was nothing but a simple injection.)

anyway, this dread over a (probably) simple medical procedure is making me think i should eat better, exercise more, and do whatever else i can to prevent more doctor appointments. so far i've managed to avoid ever being put under. craziest things that have happened to me include hairline fracture of my elbow (basketball-related), removing impacted wisdom teeth (i asked to stay awake to avoid the iv), and probably worst was when i dislocated my kneecap and the doc had to put it back (soccer try-outs in 8th grade). none of them were preventable including this hip thing i have now, but i want to keep this list as short as possible.

i dreamt about crazy needles last night. they better not find any problems that need surgery.

if i close my eyes maybe they won't see

2008-07-08T10:17:00.000-07:00

it doesn't work that way

making time

2008-06-27T12:32:00.002-07:00

i'm making time for blogging again. the sun has finally come out on the heels of june. i've been trying to do a painting a week. last weekend i was so focused i forgot to turn on my music. i almost always paint to music. i wonder if the songs i'm listening to come out in my paintings.

my sister is moving back from nepal in less than 2 months, and we're all happy about that. i'm looking forward to the big bbq we'll have in ny so i can finally wear my nepali linga outfit again.

seems like everyday there is something to do. i haven't really watched tv in weeks which is good news. i actually sort of did karaoke yesterday as a backup singer but that's kind of a big deal for me. i'm not exactly a singer.

2008-06-27T12:32:00.001-07:00

red orange yellow green blue
i'm totally bored with nothing to do

we all falter

2008-02-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

yesterday was one of those days. there was no single awful thing that happened, but nothing was going quite right. i had that heavy feeling all day where you're focused and moving forward on the outside but weighed down on the inside. nothing was quite working out the way i had hoped or planned. everything was good enough, but good enough was not good enough for me. i was bummed out by one thing after the other. my trip to ny is probably cancelled. i had some weird people interactions. had some work meeting woes. in the big picture, everything was going just fine and smooth. i accomplished a lot and life was generally perfect, but sometimes if the small things all pile up at once, they can really get you.

so in the midst of my funk, i was complimented in the most perfect way for what seemed like 2 minutes straight. it was startling in many ways. i believe in angel moments, when angels are sent to you through people, and this was an angel moment. it was fleeting yet fulfilling.

on the way home i couldn't find a song that was right for the mood until finally, obviously, miles davis accompanied me home.

What Brings Me Down Now...

2008-02-18T23:38:00.001-08:00

I'm home listening to Counting Crows. The title of this post is one of the lyrics. Their August and Everything After album is one I've probably played over 100 times easily. It's a good album if you're feeling down, but it's also good if you're reminiscing or just want to slow down.

Lately work has been this whirlwind of getting things done, one after the other, with a strict schedule. It's good to be productive. I think it gives me some structure. I love the feeling of finishing things. Unfortunately I probably start way more things than I finish.

The sun came out and the sky was blue Saturday and Sunday. I was able to run around in the sun both days. Sunday I was running along the water with a huge grin on my face. It was the first day of the year that I could wear a t-shirt outside. I felt like the sun was some old friend that knows just how to make you smile.

I started painting again, but I'm a little stalled. I ony have 2 blank canvases, so I'm kind of afraid to paint on them because what if I have some huge moment of inspiration and nothing to paint on. The art store nearby closed, so it's kind of a trek to get canvases. I'm thinking of ordering some online. I've begun a series involving the Seattle Sculpture Park.

I'm looking forward to the spring. By then I should be over my stupid experiences of January and all the other craziness from the holidays and since. I've been reading the book Unhooked by Laura Sessions Stepp and it's confirming some of my philosophies on interactions with men and making me rethink others. January was such a classic case - it could have been in the book.

Sunday F and I had a fun conversation about people who don't realize they're as hot as they are and others who think they're hotter than they are. It's kind of a funny concept. Should people have an idea of how hot they are? Would it do any good? I think you probably just need a balance of humility and self-confidence. Hotness is so subjective and can be affected by clothing, attitude, etc.

That's enough for now. I plan on blogging a little more often. It's just that this blog used to be a lot more anonymous when I started it. Now with Google and RSS feeds it changes the game. Last year I totally got in trouble for one post. I have a poem that I recently stumbled upon that I might post, but it's not on this computer and I was never able to get it quite right. Ah, perfection - my elusive friend.

Octoberisms

2007-10-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

It's been a month of ups and downs. October is that time of year when the leaves start changing colors, it gets colder and rainier and more vibrant. You feel things a little more. I've been introspective, speaking my thoughts a little more, and at the same time keeping more inside.

A friend of mine and I were talking about our dating/relationship histories. He was talking about his cocaine/crack girl, the one that you can't seem to break the habit for because of one reason or another. The ex that makes you drop everything and do silly things despite real world logic. He's got one. We know another friend has one, and I've got one too. Can you be addicted to a person or people? I see it too often I think. Usually a connection where some random thing went amiss but the connection previously caused something akin to a drug-induced blissful state.

My recent network of friends is a web of confusion. Someone tried to draw it once on a napkin late at night and it was pretty funny. Full of direct and indirect arrows of connection, dotted lines, wishful thinking, and recursive arrows.

all grown up

2007-07-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

Well I bought a condo, or at least I'm in escrow. That's one of my major life goals achieved. I know it's not a very original goal, but it's important to me. I wonder when the next major life milestone will be. It's been a good year, trending up and up and up. I wonder what's in store for the next month.

Tomorrow is my one-year anniversary for my return to Seattle and return to singledom. It doesn't seem like a whole year has gone by, and I think that's a good thing. The whole "time flies when you're having fun" adage. I'm glad I came back to Seattle. (I do still miss teaching though.)

Lots of things around me are changing lately. Something about the summer makes people more dynamic or something. I'm hoping some of my wishes will be granted. Luck o' the Irish!

2007-06-09T15:04:00.000-07:00

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of being.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

limbo

2007-06-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

I've been in limbo lately in a bunch of different ways - work, life, etc. When do you wait for things to happen vs. making them happen vs. saying they're not worth the wait? I've been sick lately - bronchitis - and I think all this crazy medicine is putting me in a funny state of mind. It's good because it's bringing me back to regular kathleen. I haven't been wearing any makeup, I've been dressing all casual, not playing games with people, not distracted by stupid things. I've just been focused. I've been getting things in order because I really need order. Instead of going out all the time, I'm taking more downtime. I'm thinking of going back to having people call me kathleen - getting tired of the whole kate thing. Not that it really matters. I like them both.

I've been thinking about communication a lot. The best friendships and relationships I have had are with people that are willing to talk about what they're thinking, what motivates them, what scares them, what excites them. That's the kind of stuff I find interesting and I like to talk about too. What's the point of being friends with someone if you can't have a real conversation with them or if they don't even care about your opinions on things? Conversation is important. At Sasquatch, M and I had some fascinating conversations and I had only just met him, yet some people I've known forever never reach that level of mutual life interest with me. Maybe it has something to do with trust. If you don't trust someone you're never going to open up to them. Some people have been burned by that before and become closed boxes or have huge impenetrable fences. I think I've been burned by people defying my trust but I just get over it because none of my secrets are all that ground-breaking anyway. Better to face the truth than to live in fear of it.

I want to buy a condo and I don't even know where to start. Things are so expensive in downtown Seattle but it's where I love to live. I want to paint more. I want to tutor or get back into some sort of teaching. I want to participate in this second .com boom. I want to write a book. So much.

embrace the future

2007-05-16T18:53:00.000-07:00

my horoscope today says that i should get rid of old stuff. doing this will release me from the past and allow me to embrace the future. i think it's a good idea. i've got high hopes for the future.

doors and windows

2007-05-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

Someone in my family used to say, "Whenever God closes a door he opens a window." It's so simple, but I guess it just means that you can find the good in everything. Sometimes you have to go through really difficult times in order to get to a point where new opportunities present themselves. Like in that song, "You don't always get what you want, but if you try real hard, you just might find, you get what you need." I've been thinking about this stuff lately for a bunch of reasons that I won't go into. I've been feeling really lucky ever since I moved back to Seattle, but those were some dark days beforehand. And I almost didn't move. I was so close to calling the whole thing off. Phone in my hand and everything.

I've been reading a lot of books having to do with self-improvement, mostly in the workplace, but a lot of it applies to life. If you're not happy with your life, do something about it - take action. Because nobody is going to change your life for you. Sitting around complaining or waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself doesn't work. I could begin a "Take Action" phase, but actually I'm pretty happy with my life. I guess I'm just providing free advice. It's not rocket science, but sometimes people need a little reminder of obvious things.

Exasperation

2007-03-29T22:52:00.000-07:00

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The Efficacy of Band-aids

2007-03-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

I recently went sledding and snowshoeing with a group of friends up in the Cascade mountains. After a long hiatus from sledding I had forgotten how little control you actually have in terms of steering and stopping. So I basically got pretty banged up. It's especially hard to stop when you're wearing snowshoes, so you can't really dig your heels into the snow. Anyway, at one point I was going head first and my sled chose the one pointy-branch-filled stump in the middle of a vasy bare snowy area as a target. As much as I tried to steer away, and slow down, I ended up ramming my shoulder into a baseball-diameter-sized branch sticking right out toward me. With sledding momentum is not your friend. (p=mv right).

Anyway, I could tell my shoulder was bleeding under my shirt because of the way it felt. Eventually when I got back to the cabin, the group was full of opinions on what I should do. Suck it up. Leave it alone. Definitely put Neosporin on it. Definitely put a bandage on it. Tough it out. I opted for the bandaid, and one guy that was with us told me it would do no good because they're purely psychological. Thinking this guy will not make a very comforting father someday, I tried to explain that sometimes a psychological fix is just what is needed. I wanted the bandaid dammit. Anyway, it turns out the bandaids I had were not big enough, so I had to tough it out. But I stand by my belief that even if bandaids only provide psychological comfort, they can be worth every cent.

Why did you leave Boston?

2007-03-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

Why did you leave Boston? Why did you go to Boston? Those thick, languid questions. Several times a week I'm forced to create a coherent synopsis of my major life decisions. I don't like to blow people off, so usually I make some attempt at explaining the logic behind my move to Boston and my return to Seattle. Although I'm now considering giving in to the terse, incomplete answers that people accept. Way oversimplified answer to why I went: Because of a guy. Answer to why I came back: [HELP]. That's the one I haven't found an easy answer to yet - an answer that will stop people from prying into my decisions. If I say I hated Boston, people insist I must be crazy and make me explain how I could ever dislike such an amazing city, especially since I'm from the East Coast. If I say I was unhappy, I lost my smile, my vibrance, etc., they either don't believe me or want to know why. Did you hate teaching? No. People don't believe that I couldn't find a job that I wanted. But you went to Princeton. But you worked at Microsoft. Pblaaa. Was it because you and B fizzled out? No. Enough speculation. I really need to find a short answer that people will accept and move on. I could just say, "It's personal," but you can't really say that to friends since they expect more. How about, "Things just worked out that way."? It wasn't a clear decision. It was one of those brain-vs.-gut type moves. I listened to my brain. For the next few weeks, I'm going to try out the "Things just worked out that way" answer and see what happens. Grrrrrrrr.

What do you do when...

2007-03-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

How many times have you had one of those nights where things are a little fuzzy in the morning? How did I get in that cab? What happened between 12:30am and 2am? Well luckily I've gotten pretty good at counting drinks, so this doesn't really happen to me, but I know a lot of people who experience this somewhat regularly - mostly guys. I guess it's different for guys since safety is less of an issue. Anyway, the morning text message conversations can be pretty funny. The attempts to piece together the night without sounding like you blacked out. "Hey, so I think I might have said something I shouldn't have said last night. Please forget it." or "When was the last time you saw me last night?" or "Do you know how I ended up in Pioneer Square?"

So usually you can just help people get some clarity as best you can. But what if you remember some potentially embarrassing things. Do you tell the person? I am the kind of person that wants to know if I did something stupid, perhaps so I can apologize or at least be more self-aware. But on the other hand, sometimes telling will do no good. What do you think?

Back online!

2007-03-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't had internet access at home for 5 days. Millennium Digital Media isn't the greatest company for internet access and they also charge too much for cable. The sales people are all really friendly but the hold times are unacceptable.

Anyway, the cable guy just left and I'm back online. So what does one do without internet access? TV got boring pretty quickly. I ended up writing a love poem. It just came out of me. I'm not a great poet. I decided this because I applied to take a poetry workshop at Princeton and I didn't get in. But I secretly still write poems sometimes. This one is pretty long and doesn't rhyme at all. I think it's called "The Space Around You." It needs some severe editing. Not sure what I'll do with it. For now I'll probably just tape it into my journal.

Everything is intense lately in a good way.

traffic spikety-spike

2007-01-23T09:10:00.000-08:00

Suddenly I'm getting all this interest in my blog. May have mentioned an old friend's name a few years ago, and turns out my blog is the #1 hit for her. Had to do a little edit, so if you get a really old post showing up as new as of yesterday, it's because I was erasing one instance of a last name. I guess if you work in certain fields, you don't want, um, unstable people find out where you live and stuff. Those are my words, not the friends.

Anyway I've been sleeping like a log lately. I think it's from working out. My body is not used to being so tired. It's good overall, but takes some awake time out of the day.

When I was looking through some of my web traffic reports I noticed that I used to get traffic from search terms that were names of songs or quotes of lyrics. I haven't blogged about music lately, so here's a little update. Bad Day by Daniel Powter was like my theme song for June, July, and August. Now I'm really excited that Boston by Augustana has become so popular. I didn't realize it would be playing on the radio - I just listened to it on MySpace. I've always loved sad music for some reason. But I also have whole playlists called "Chill/Upbeat," "Psych Up," and "Fun Music" among others.

Off to workity-work.

back in the groove

2007-01-15T15:17:00.000-08:00

inertia is dangerous. you can't get anywhere if you're standing still. why am i standing still? the whole world is a distraction. so many interesting people and things to learn about. i need more focus and structure. discipline would be good too. despite my lack of follow-through on my ambitions, i am happy. would i be happier if i were more productive? in some ways i would, but i would have less time to step back and appreciate things.

everything is white and beautiful in seattle lately with the snow and frost. the sun this morning cast a rosy glow over the mountains and a huge slash of cloud diagonally cut through the sun creating thin white rays. i love the sound of ice crackling under my feet. the sounds of the city are muted.

no more cranky-pants

2007-01-03T14:05:00.000-08:00

it's a new year. a new start. i think i'm going to try to dress a little better this year. i'll try not to wear jeans at least once a week. and defintely no more cranky-pants.

last year i was wearing my cranky-pants for the whole first half of the year. nothing seemed to go my way. and i was kind of mean to people, not because i had bad intentions, but more as a self-preservation mode. i needed to tip-toe around myself since i was in a fragile state and had to try hard not to do things to make it worse. for example, driving was extremely stressful in boston, so i rarely offered to drive my car-less roommate anywhere. pretty awful. and i was so tired all the time, so either i didn't accept invitations to hang out, or i showed up and was superlame "debbie downer". i rarely offered to buy people drinks because i didn't have any money, and i wasn't up for going to concerts or shows because it was too expensive. i had 3 jobs and very little free time, so kind of felt bad for myself and pampered myself in the rare time i had free. by pampering, i mean i'd veg out and just watch tv. in those rare times when i could watch tv, i'd get all huffy and mad if my roommate was taking over the living room, even though it was just as much hers as it was mine, and she was stressed with school and lots of other stuff herself. i wanted to spend time with her but i really really needed my alone time to like heal or something - deal with myself and all my issues. i also got angry if b didn't try to align his free time with mine, and if he did, i'd be all tired and want to just hang out, which juxtaposed with his desire to take on beantown.

the first half was tough, but after moving, i was pretty easy on myself for the rest of 2006. i bought myself stuff, got lots of sleep, watched tv, partied a lot. i think it's safe to say that my mental state is back to normal (whatever normal is). so no more cranky-pants this year, but i think it's time to start getting some real work done, taking on challenges, etc. less vegging out this year. i'm going to learn lots of new things. i read 3 books in the last 10 days and did a lot of writing on top of that. with a little gumption, i should be able to keep that momentum going. i'm also hoping to sign up for volunteering in a school since i really miss teaching. and finish at least 2 paintings. i realize that's not exactly a reach goal, but it's only january 3rd.

back to work.

lucky

2006-12-18T13:14:00.000-08:00

I have been reading Lucky by Alice Sebold. I picked it up about a year ago and started reading it, but it was too hard to read, so after the first chapter I stopped. It's a personal account of her rape. It was really graphic and disturbing. When I was going through some boxes at home last month, I found it again. A new book with a bookmark towards the beginning. Just looked like yet another book that I stopped reading in the middle because I got bored. So I started over. Horribly disturbing but this time I kept reading. I'm halfway through, about 150 pages in. The thing is, I read before I go to bed, so it gives me anxiety and makes it hard to fall asleep. I think I'm going to stop reading it again. Haven't decided yet. I'm hoping it has some great advice or empowering victory at the end. How will I know if I don't finish it? I feel invested.

Last night I bought a book to read during my flight home for Christmas. I got Mitch Ablom's latest book - can't remember the name, but that should be an easy read. It's about a mother's love or something. I liked his first two books. They're so different from my world, so they feed my imagination.

mrs. sock went missing

2006-12-04T13:57:00.000-08:00

it's been a tough few days for mr. sock. today when i went to pull out a pair of black socks to wear, mr. charcoal black sock informed me that his wife has gone missing. we're all a little worried, but hopefully she just went for a spin in the washing machine and will show up on her own.

i'm also having to deal with trinity (my infiniti) who is having a mid-life crisis ever since the costco tire guy told her she was going (gasp!) bald. i've promised to fix her up and take her to the spa for a good wash & wax, but i don't think she'll be happy until her new tires come in.

my camera is all peeved at me too because she heard me talking smack about her giving everyone red eyes and now she refuses to show anything except bright whiteness on her screen.

geez, is it a full moon or anything? at least tracker, my stuffed dog, continues to be loyal.

written revelations

2006-12-03T23:26:00.000-08:00

i have 2 pages left in my journal. two beautiful blank pages. what profound moments will make me decide to fill those pages? i have kept written journals since 6th grade. completing a book and choosing the next one is significant. my current journal began in september of 2004. it begins, "I live in Boston now." for some reason, changing journals tends to correspond with changing phases of my life. this one would have corresponded, except that i avoided writing for a while. the july 06 changes were difficult, and writing is cathartic in a way for which i was not prepared, not ready to commit. it's good to be writing again, feeling things, facing things. i've had the next journal chosen for about 6 months now, so i'm looking forward to closing this book.

why aren't violets violet?

2006-11-08T00:50:00.000-08:00

rose are red
violets are blue
i can't sleep
can you?

the song blame it on the rain came on the radio yesterday. it made me laugh. it has rained in seattle every day of november. pouring rain. 7 inches in 7 days. it's some sort of record. i think it's making me a little off-kilter. thursday there is supposed to be sun. maybe i'll leave work early. i took at nap today at 7:30 and now i cannot sleep. i think every day people should laugh out loud. i never watch jay leno but i did today because i was awake and it was on after the election coverage. i don't really like him but he made me laugh out loud a lot.

i'm glad to see that the people of america are starting to see the err of their ways after the 2004 election. i went to a party two years ago on election day. wore a blue shirt. bummer of a party. great hosts though. they've since moved to washington dc, so maybe they had a party this year too. i have high hopes for 2008.

be careful what you wish for

2006-11-02T17:58:00.000-08:00

so i've been sort of having a grumpy couple of days. grumpy and spacey. i'm not sure why except maybe it's that i was sick for a while so i'm just run-down. or maybe it's the rain, although i love the way the rain looks. i should do a painting based on the rain. so i had this unrequited interest not too far back and i was hoping that they would do something repulsive to erase the interest and then they did and i was taken aback until i realized that i got what i wanted.

halloween night

2006-11-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

Last night was fun. Lots of people came out to celebrate my birthday. I was taking it easy with alcohol (or trying) and did manage to avoid tequila (thanks k for drinking my shot). I shared the best dessert ever with pr, got to see some of my old friends that I haven't seen in a while, had some funny conversations and did a little dancing. So why does the negative thing stick in my head? I basically got punched in the face by something a fof said. It was so insensitive and uncalled for, esp. on my birthday. I wanted to punch back or at least use my scorpio sting to deflect the pain, but I decided that would just make the situation worse, so I did nothing. Went home fuming, mentally drafting out mean text messages to send, which of course I did not send. So what's the good that comes out of it? Well I kind of found out that I can read people better than I thought I could. I won't explain that because I think I've already said too much. Life is short. Here's to the start of a happy 28th year! :-)

life is good

2006-10-25T10:08:00.000-07:00

i still can't believe how good my life has become in the past few months. just when i think things can't get any better something else happens. i'm trying to relish it while it lasts. very few things seem to bother me these days. i love my commute, i find the rain beautiful, i'm connecting with my friends, work is amazing, i'm watching very little tv, i'm doing enough during the day to make me sleep well, but still be able to get up in the morning. i love the morning. and the afternoon. and the evening. humor is everywhere. how bizaare. how bizaare.

success

2006-10-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

success turned to failure last night which was probably inevitable. there's only so long you can postpone dealing with things. it could be for the best, as now i can move on. my dreams have been incredibly vivid lately, making it hard to wake up. this morning a character in my dream was reading passages from famous works of literature. i was unaware of that content existing in my head. where do i go from here?

wishmaker

2006-10-13T15:42:00.000-07:00

I make a lot of wishes. On eyelashes, stars, magic 8 balls, flowers, situations. I make multiple wishes a day. Sometimes they are really serious concerning life goals. More often I wish things for other people (health, good luck, clarity, success). Sometimes I wish for frivolous things like tator tots or eye contact. Making a wish is serious business because you need to be careful what you wish for. You need to make it really specific or else it will just be a waste. The wishgranter is a cross between a lawyer and a computer. The wishgranter requires precise language and refuses to make assumptions. A wish should have a timeline associated with it. You need a lot of adjectives. You don't want to wish for someone to have a long life. You want them to have a long, health, happy, fulfilling life. You don't just wish for someone to make the right decision. You want them to come to a decision within the next two weeks that will result in long-term happiness. An ambiguous wish is just wasted, floating away in wishworld.

hue and saturation

2006-10-10T08:09:00.000-07:00

lately greens have been so bright and reds are really pale. purple is almost non-existant. but blue is there. leading the pack.

all shook up

2006-10-09T12:02:00.000-07:00

it seems like big things happen to me all at the same time. or maybe things seem bigger when there are already big things happening so there's a smaller space left for other things which makes them seem bigger. work just got bigger, but in a good way. i love getting projects that require me to actually think. sf was net positive. mostly things went as well as they could have. it was good to see b but kind of hard too. we got to play the "friend" roles. it was a little hard because there's a fuzzy line between good friend and girl/boyfriend and we were so used to playing the latter roles. i think we did a pretty good job. he totally took some liberties though - for example he kept on taking sips of my coke. nobody gets to do that. gotta run. more later.

regressing

2006-10-03T14:38:00.000-07:00

oh shit. just took a few steps in the wrong direction, emotionally at least. it's ukw's birthday. dammit why is stuff like this always harder than it should be?

addicted to the internet

2006-10-02T21:22:00.000-07:00

so i'm like online all the time now. it's ridiculous. i was so unplugged in boston. barely even used my cell phone. now i'm constantly keeping track of all these blogs and sites and stuff. it's fun but mostly a big waste of time. work is going well. i have a lot of ideas i want to run with. yesterday i rode like 20 miles on shar's bike. it was fun. i love the feeling of coasting down a beautiful path with the wind in my face. went to lava lounge last night. hadn't been there in a long time. it was good. low-key with music in the background and just the right amount of people so it was neither crowded nor empty. the sf trip this weekend should be interesting. idk why but i'm kind of nervous to fly with all the new airline restrictions. i'm sure i'll forget something and end up like throwing away really expensive makeup or something. maybe i just shouldn't bring makeup. been trying out tinted moisturizer this week and so far i like it. i'm considering having a no jeans week sometime soon so i can get to wear some of my other clothes. i also think a dress/skirt week would be fun. too bad it's getting so cold. i need to figure out what to wear to shira's wedding too. it'll be like the same people that were at my high school prom. so strange. i'm excited to see dano - it's been so long - need to catch up. totally twisted my ankle walking home last night but it's not bad enough to make me take the elevator. time to disconnect.

morning after text

2006-09-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

One of my friends actually sent this text to a girl the morning after their first encounter:

"how is your day going? so sleepy -- dozed off during our morning meeting. And .. the boys still ache a bit ;-)"

Heart vs. Head

2006-09-25T11:20:00.000-07:00

When the two are in contention, which is it wiser to follow, one's head or one's heart? This question has plagued me for longer than I care to admit. My tendency, as an emotional, passionate, Scorpio, is to follow my heart. By "following your heart," I mean listening to gut feelings, chemistry, those things that just make you smile and feel like you're on drugs even when you're not. Giving in to these feelings can lead to a higher level of happiness than one can achieve with just the thinking mind. However, the heart is blind to the mundane realities of everyday life, which can result in extended lulls of unhappiness between the moments of bliss. If it does not at least balance out, you could end up with a net unhappiness, which makes me question whether those high-highs are worth the low lows. My brain sees this quite clearly, as an unwise life strategy, but my heart loves those highs so much that it's willing to make huge sacrifices.

Following my head has worked a lot better for me, in terms of net happiness, although it always seems like a fight against my natural tendencies. Hopefully following my rational left-brain will lead to situations where my heart is in agreement with my head. That would be the goal - a somewhat stable emotional state that is trending upward and sprinkled with the occasional upward spike. Experience tells me that it is wiser to follow my head, although I have a low level of confidence in that answer. The question itself is somewhat flawed in that it insinuates that the answer is binary and constant. Someone truly wise would know when to prioritize one's heart over one's head and vice versa. For those of us still seeking clarity, it would be useful to have a default.

dating advice

2006-09-18T21:44:00.000-07:00

now that i'm single, i'm suddenly feeling less qualified to give dating advice, although I still do it, when people ask. just did actually - i told the guy to go for it, so i hope the girl accepts! the past week a few people have mentioned this black bible-type book called "the game." i might have to check it out, although i feel like i could write my own little list of rules. too bad i don't always follow them. the thing about dating is that it's so simple and straightforward but everyone (including myself) makes it into these crazy, complicated scenarios which can sometimes result in ridiculous situations. i guess that's what makes it fun too. maybe if you can't get past the analytical awkward stuff, then it wasn't meant to be.

non-sequitor: why are so many of the cute guys on myspace gay??? no fair!

September 11

2006-09-11T10:42:00.000-07:00

It's one of those weird days. September 11th. I have to wonder what will happen next. I know people are still healing from 5 years ago. I wonder if NY will be hit again or if it will be some other city. I know this blog is a little "weird" as I was recently told by an old friend. If you're looking for my day-to-day posts then you should be reading my plain old day-to-day blog: http://kate.spaces.live.com. This blogspot blog is more random thoughts and non-sequitors. I kind of like this one better which is why I've kept it alive.

nightmares

2006-09-06T09:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up to a strange sound last night at 2am, and I was up for over an hour all freaked out. I think it was just the wind that opened my bedroom door, and the fact that I had watched "Without a Trace" just before going to bed. These were the times when I used to call b and he'd stay on the phone with me while I checked the apartment for intruders. I didn't have anyone else to call at 2am, so I just dealt with it myself. Independent woman? Um...right.

magic moments

2006-09-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

gg used to make fun of me because he would always somehow know if i were "having a moment." it all started on the beach one day and i probably threw sand at him or something cuz he had called me out. well this past weekend was full of moments of introspection, revelation, connection, inspiration, appreciation, and elation. it's not often that i have multiple moments in a day that are big enough for me to call moments, but the weekend really was something. it was probably the combination of people joking around, a couple of long drives with good music, getting away from the city, being in nature with water and trees, being surrounded by art, great music, and some good dessert that allowed me to stop being so high-strung for a little while. it's nice to just relax. i think i've been taking everything a little too seriously lately.

this newfound phobia of mine is becoming quite the comedy among my friends. it's so dumb that i can't help but laugh and laugh and laugh at myself. i'm not all that worried about it. i'm sure it'll work itself out.

Lurking

2006-09-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

Somehow I came upon this random girl's blog and felt like she said the kind of things that I often think about but wouldn't publish. I've been reading it for years. http://crowcountersblog.blogspot.com/ I'm rooting for this girl. I hope she finds her guy. She way overthinks things the same way I do and I love her for it.

truth serum

2006-08-30T08:14:00.000-07:00

crazy fun once again last night. how did i end up in such a social group? b letter got me all pensive and confused. need to reread. hoping for clarity. people tell me their secrets when they are drunk. sometimes i don't remember them.

a man of few words once said:

recovery

2006-08-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

spent all day yesterday recovering and trying to fill in the gaps from saturday night. s invited me out dancing and i can never say no to dancing. i hadn't been to a danceclub in months. it was so much fun. alcohol is evil. i don't know why i love that type of music so much. w was fun to dance with. t didn't make it out. i think he's afraid of danceclubs since he went to a dude school. will have to change that.

then last night i went to a magical little world in the woods filled with moonlight and old apple trees. wish i had my camera but i'm sure my memories are more vivid. need to do some painting. found out important tip about using watercolors - the paper needs to be flat on the table. sometimes i wonder about my brain... no more drippy watercolor paintings in the future. it's nice to escape the future sometimes and just enjoy the present.

confidant

2006-08-26T14:41:00.000-07:00

Just had a phone conversation with an old confidant. We help each other see the realities of our follies. It's good to have someone to laugh at yourself with. Cuz I can do things that are pretty damn funny. I think we all do. You just have to take a step back and look at the whole situation.

connection

2006-08-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

your stare lit up
all the molecules in the air
making me acutely aware
of our connection

your touch so strong
filled with comfort and such
that i endlessly clutch
your affection

totally lame

2006-08-23T14:23:00.000-07:00

so so sorry for being such a lame poster lately. i was looking back in august of 04 to see if i blogged about my goodbye party since k was reminding me about it today but couldn't find it. what i did find was more interesting posts than the past year.

life is kind of confusing these days. so much happens yet nothing really does. i've been distracted a lot. doing much thinking. did something fun followed by something kind of dumb and now i'm in a sticky situation. do you ever give an opposite msg than you intend by mistake then you can't really fix it w/o being super-overt. yeah. so i'm feeling dumb. ack. i hate having unfinished business.

2006-08-09T12:51:00.000-07:00

electric ant armies and hot crimson sand
hovering over the palm of my hand

back in seattle

2006-07-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

i'm back. i suddenly got a report from gostats that my blog has been getting hits. people at work must be googling me or something. anyway i suppose i'll put a little update. this weekend was fun. i have this new life again which is kind of strange. it's crazy how a life can change so drastically in such little town. mine was mostly for the better except for 1 major thing which i'll refrain from discussing. it's weird to have just one job, all my weekends are completely free. i have time to go to the movies. i can afford to go to the movies. my clothes are all wrong for seattle, so i'm working on that.

last night i wanted to make sure i had cash to buy lunch this week so i went to an atm. i was considering taking out a whole $100 since my bank doesn't have an atm near my work, but i wasn't sure if i had enough in my account, so i did a balance check and omg, i certainly had a lot lot more than $100. turns out my first paycheck came 2 days sooner than expected. i was in disbelief for the entire drive home. anyway, it's nice to finally have some money again. bye bye credit card debt. it's like starting from scratch. i found a great new apartment too. things are mostly working out.

i've made some snafu's along the way. i always do. hesitant to post them online for the world but believe me there have been some doozies so far. things like that make me think of kate groninger who always had the best reactions after doing things that were really embarassing like tripping over her own feet.

Ack - spam

2005-10-02T06:53:00.000-07:00

I've been getting these spam comments on my blog lately, so I had to turn off comments for my last entry.

Life is good. I still don't think I have the "right" job for me, but I feel like I'm doing something good for the world everyday. As a teacher, you can make a positive difference in someone's life, or you can make someone's life really shitty. It's important not to get too rapt up in discipline. It's only about 10% of the kids that need redirecting, and half the time I can't blame them. I read an interesting article in Time Magazine a few months back about the teenage brain and how the decision-making part of the brain is underdeveloped at that point. It makes a lot of sense when I see it in action. Things around here seem different from when I was in middle school. They're still kids. They don't seem to have the same social pressures. It makes me wonder if I was in an especially tough school or if it was all in my head. Relational aggression among girls can be brutal.

I'm having a candle party in 3 weeks. Everytime I tell a girl, she things it'll be fun and every time I tell a guy, he cringes. It's like a newage tupperware party but with candles. www.partylite.com but with younger people.

Tough Girl

2005-08-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

My mother used to send the fries back at McDonalds if they were cold. I guess she thought if we were going to eat such shitty food, it should at least be hot. I loved when she went all tough-girl on them. Everybody has their quirks. I didn’t even know how much I rely on her until she went away for a week. I had a tough week and I needed her advice. My sister had a tough week of her own and needed my mom too. We haven’t talked to each other that much in years. I don’t know what I would do without my family. I think I’d be only a fraction of the person I am. They hold me up. It sounds cheesy.

Yesterday was overall a crappy day. One of those days with a few ups and a lot of downs. I was needing a hug real bad. Finally, I sent a text to h, who will hopefully help me figure out some things today.

Sometimes I think about Lisa Maki, who taught me to be tough and conceal my emotions when necessary. How do you decide who you need to show your strong side to and who you can trust to show your weak side? I think maybe you should only show your weak side to people who you know will drop everything and be there for you when you need them. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Life in Beantown

2005-08-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Life in Beantown is pretty good. I've been helping B set up his new place. I love painting walls! I've been a little anxious about starting a new job, but I'm sure it will all work out well. I now have a Master's degree, which is kind of cool, although anti-climactic since graduation is not until next June.

Going to a Red Sox game today. Wish I had a sox shirt. Maybe I'll put one on my Christmas list. Yesterday I was wearing a Mets hat and I still root for the Mariners, so I don't have one specific allegiance (sp?).

Going to the MFA with Megs tomorrow. Should be fun. I've had the apt to myself all week since my roomie is in CA, so it's been nice having everything to myself for a little while, although I can freak myself out pretty badly at night after watching Law & Order or CSI.

Time to get ready for the game. Actually, not even close, but I cease to be inspired.

Summer Semester Begins

2005-05-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been a while. I'm working on my first paper of the summer. It's a 2-3 pager about the social context of my history of education. I'm going to write about being one of the only white girls on the cheerleading squad and how I never saw those girls in any of my classes. I don't even know if they knew I was "smart" but they know I never complained about getting on the ineligibility list. Oh, they probably new I was a nerd. I learned a lot from those girls. From unleashing my hips to teen pregnancy (not mine!). Anyway, I should be writing this in my paper but then I wouldn't be procrastinating. Maybe that's all that bloggers are: a bunch of online procrastinators. I'm a genius.

Beautiful Stranger

2005-04-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

I met a beautiful stranger over the weekend at a bus stop. His name was John and his hair flapped in the wind. He's applying to design schools for architecture and somehow we ended up sprinting to the next bus stop. It was a strange five minutes of my life.

I have this week off of student teaching and it has been wonderfully restful. Now that it's Tuesday, I must get to work on my Inquiry (teacher research) paper. I'm in the library now, drinking a can of coke and blogging. At least I'm in the library. Since I arrived, I had a snack, updated my virus definitions, updated my spyware definitions, updated my OS, and cleaned off my desktop. One of these moments now, I'll start working on my paper. I'm thinking of installing AIM. A lot of my east coast friends still use inferior instant messaging software. Poor souls.

I saw the Boston Marathon yesterday. I didn't expect to be affected so much, but quite a few moments brought tears to my eyes. Seeing the wheelchair racers and watching the determination in people's eyes was a humbling experience. Between the elite runners and the rest of the bunch, I grabbed a slice of pizza and a coke. The irony was not lost on me. I would never run a marathon, but I would consider a half marathon.

Since I've started working with Lesley (my cooperating teacher in the 3rd grade), I have really enjoyed my student teaching. It's a lot of fun working with the same group of kids everyday, introducing them to concepts for the first time, helping them resolve social conflicts. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh at their "serious" problems. For example, one student was almost in tears because she had been accused of "liking" a certain boy. She'll look back and laugh some day. But for now, I try to console and help her gain some perspective. I used to hate it when adults laughed at my problems. Teaching is all about respect. If you don't respect your students, you won't be able to teach them much.

Calling All Readers.

2005-04-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your blog. See what people remember about you.

You don't really need to. In fact it's like a chain blog which is even worse than one of those email forwards. I'm not sure why I was compelled to answer the blog that I found this in and continue it. Perhaps I'm self-involved. You can choose option 2 and post your favorite word.

Back from nowhere

2005-04-10T18:39:00.000-07:00

I have nothing interesting to say but I decided to post because it's been too long. I have been superbusy ever since I started student teaching. Waking up at 6 everyday really can sap the energy out of you. On a bright note, my handwriting has improved. Writing huge can really force you to think about each letter. Teachers constantly have to think about setting good examples. Life is pretty good. Ben is acting in a play that's going up on the 22nd, so I'm looking forward to that. He plays a gay man and the guy who plays his boyfriend asked me if I wanted to keep the whip when the show's over. Ack! This is going to be quite a show to watch. At least there's no kissing.

I have been unsuccessfully trying to get in touch with a friend this weekend. Maybe I'll have better luck during the week.

It's 9:30pm. Just about my bedtime. And I still have so much to do. Maybe it'll be a snow day tomorrow. I'm hoping for some freak of nature storm to come in. Actually this week is my full takeover week, so I've got a lot to fit in. Need to be up to the challenge. I'm in 3rd grade now and these kids are really smart...

Is This Thing On?

2005-04-10T18:37:00.000-07:00

I have nothing interesting to say but I decided to post because it's been too long. I have been superbusy ever since I started student teaching. Waking up at 6 everyday really can sap the energy out of you. On a bright note, my handwriting has improved. Writing huge can really force you to think about each letter. Teachers constantly have to think about setting good examples. Life is pretty good. Ben is acting in a play that's going up on the 22nd, so I'm looking forward to that. He plays a gay man and the guy who plays his boyfriend asked me if I wanted to keep the whip when the show's over. Ack! This is going to be quite a show to watch. At least there's no kissing.
I have been unsuccessfully trying to get in touch with a friend this weekend. Maybe I'll have better luck during the week.
It's 9:30pm. Just about my bedtime. And I still have so much to do. Maybe it'll be a snow day tomorrow. I'm hoping for some freak of nature storm to come in. Actually this week is my full takeover week, so I've got a lot to fit in. Need to be up to the challenge. I'm in 3rd grade now and these kids are really smart...

better morning

2005-02-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm listening to Sinatra this morning. It's kind of strange, but I had bought the cd, so I figured I'd try it out. It seems more like evening music. Today I'm driving down to NY to stay at my parents house for a couple of days and go to the dentist. Now I'll really find out how good the Sonicare Elite has been performing. "I get a kick outta you...every time I see you standing there before me...though it's clear to see you obviously do not ignore me..."

Underappreciated

2005-02-22T23:00:00.000-08:00

It sucks to be criticized. Yes, I'm not perfect. So what. I feel like I go to great lengths to correct these little imperfections that are pointed out and it's not even noticed. Sometimes other things are just brought to the forefront instead. Why do people look for the bad things instead of appreciating what's good?

still going

2005-02-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

Almost done with page 5. A lot of editing is going to be necessary, I fear. I just checked and I see it only needs to be 5-6 pages. I thought it was 6-8. I guess I'm almost done! WAHOO. Maybe there will be time for exercise after all. But what can I do. Run in place? Snow snow go away, just for the afternoon.

Page 4 - done

2005-02-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

Whoohoo. I'm well into page 5 now. Although I'm running out of stuff to say. I'm SO GLAD this isn't a research paper where you have to cite things. Those ones take like quintuple the amount of time.

done!

2005-02-22T08:13:00.000-08:00

Ok. Done. How long did that take. Only 3 pages left. Ack. Speaking of ACK, I'm going to Nantucket in May with B. He's taking me on a trip. So exciting. Nobody has ever taken me on a trip before like this except my parents. Pretty cool. We're going to ride bikes. Take at least 2 minutes off of the time of the page writing since I'm writing this entry and it's taking time. Stop.

Hey-ho Cheerio

2005-02-22T07:52:00.000-08:00

Is this thing still on? I have been out of the blogging loop. MSN Spaces kind of threw me off because I suddenly had a space and it was so much work to post to both at the same time. It would have worked but stupid blogger takes like 24 hours for an email post to go up. Anyway, I'm back. Screw the space. I'm already here.

I'm supposed to be writing a paper due at 4:30pm today, so why not write a blog entry instead. I just have 4 more pages of the paper to write. It's actually really interesting, but I wouldn't post it because it's about technology in education and too many people would have opinions. :-)

This week is AWESOME because I can wear JEANS everyday and all my comfy wonderful amazing clothes. No school this week = no teacher clothes. Barf me. How many sweaters can I wear. I can't wear nice ones either because it's the first grade, so things get glue and paint and marker and all sorts of other random shit on them. My coat has black marker all over the sleeve. I made the mistake of wearing a white sweater once and the teacher asked me to hang up all the kids CHARCOAL self portraits. Um...yeah. Maybe not. I only wore that white sweater one more time, and I knew the teacher would be absent that day. (read: no charcoal)

I had big plans to go running everyday this week and so far no go due to snow. Snow yesterday. Snow today. Add one bad knee and there's no running going on. BC's stupid gym charges money too. As if my $40,000 isn't enough. And I can't exactly go out and buy an elliptical runner since I'm in debt. Keep an eye out on craiglist boston for me if you're bored. Especially the "free" list. That one's the best.

I painted my toenails pink on Friday night. It was like a welcome to vacation thing. Although no vacation from Boston College, so I still have this paper to write. Maybe I should try a word marathon and see how fast I can write a page in. We won't measure buy quality. Just quantity. Ready...set...go!

Mighty bites the dust

2005-01-25T11:07:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning to a thwack sound. THWACK! It was about 6:30am. I knew it was the mousetrap. It must be. Mighty Mouse has finally been captured. I can't believe we caught another one. Just when you let your guard down, it happens. This time I used Nestle's crunch dipped in JIF peanut butter as bait. Ack. I don't have any fun pictures because I discovered these new traps: http://www.pestcontrolmag.com/pestcontrol/article/articleDetail.jsp?id=140894

They capture and kill the mouse within this plastic container so you never end up seeing it. It's good and bad. I won't ever know how big this one was. Was it huge like Mickey or tiny like Minnie. Mighty will remain a mystery.

Back in the US

2005-01-13T10:34:00.000-08:00

I'm back in the country, all in one piece, almost cured of my jetlag. Last night I flew to Seattle and it was SO SHORT compared to the flights to and from Nepal. Life is good. I posted some nepal pics here: http://spaces.msn.com/members/kate/ .

I didn't really make any plans for Seattle so now I'm figuring out things. Now that I got here it seems kind of silly that I decided to get my hair cut at my old hair place. It seems like there should be more exciting things to do out here. Maybe after the haircut I'll feel differently.

craziness

2004-12-28T15:00:00.000-08:00

I'm off to Nepal tomorrow. That's one long flight. I'm looking forward to seeing someplace completely different from here. It should be eye opening. I have two times set on my watch now. Here and Nepalese time. It's 4:47AM there now. Maybe I should have gone to bed early.

Those tsunamis are awful. I can't believe it. They just said the death toll is now over 50,000 with even more expected. I want to find a way to help. So many people...

zzzzzzzz's

2004-12-13T10:05:00.000-08:00

I have been sleeping all the time. Any free time I have, all I want to do is nap. We're talking 10-12 hours a day. I'm so tired. I'm taking vitamins and everything. I hope this goes away soon. I'm tired of being tired.

Art

2004-12-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

I really want to get back into art again. I'm thinking of implementing a one drawing per day minimum. Even if it's a 5 minute drawing. Perhaps I do something like that for 30 days and fill up a sketchbook. It would be interesting to see what I'd draw in Nepal. I'm spending an entire day on a plane. Maybe I could draw my food or my hands or my plastic fork. It's actually easier to find something to draw when you're confined to a small space because there are fewer options to choose from.

I had a wonderful morning.

Nothing to Report

2004-12-10T10:26:00.000-08:00

Life is pretty tedious these days. I'm just trudging through. I'm finished doing work for 3 classes. 3 more to go. I should be researching right now. It feels like it never ends but once this paper's done, I just have 2 exams. Easy-peasy. Hopefully. This school thing has worked out rather well. It's raining again in Boston. It rains every Tuesday. Luckily not too many Fridays. Only 14 more shopping days left. My exams are totally screwing with my shopping schedule! I will continue my story another time. Patti will follow your guys' advice and get a box to put the boots in.

Patti with an i

2004-12-04T18:26:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, long long ago, there lived a spry little girl named Patti. (Patti with an i.) Sometimes when Patti wrote her name, she liked to dot the i with a little heart. Patti was a happy little girl skipping along through the magical world of Destiny. One day, Patti was playing around with her best friend, Shirley. (Shirley with an e-y.) Shirley was an intense little girl with a flair for the dramatic. Usually the girls got along very well. They played and picked flowers and ate magical candy gumdrops from the side of the road.
Shirley had a magical looking glass. When she looked into it, she saw beautiful wonderful scenes of herself. There was only one small problem. The looking glass was slightly broken. Every so often, as soon as Shirley looked into the looking glass, there would be thunder and the sun would go down. All would become dark. Then Patti and Shirley couldn’t play. It was frustrating to wait until the sun came back out. They would miss out on fun times. All the magical sun-powered toys would stop working. The third time it happened, Patti had an idea. She suggested that Shirley only use her looking glass at night, when the sun was already gone. Suddenly Shirley turned bright red and steam came out of her ears. She was very angry and yelled at Patti. “I can’t believe you would ask me to do that! It hardly ever happens and I NEED to see myself in my looking glass. I will NOT wait until the sun goes down. How dare you even ask that. I HATE YOU!” This made Patti very sad. Usually Shirley was so nice. She didn’t understand why Shirley got so angry. She waited a few days, and as little girls do, they forgot about the whole event.
The following week in school, Patti learned what to do if somebody does something that bothers you. You’re supposed to say, “Don’t do that!” She tried it out in school when somebody pulled on her braid. And…it worked! This was quite a discovery for Patti. She no longer needed her magic bubble protection. That afternoon, after school, she went home, and Shirley came over to play. It was raining outside, and when Shirley came in, she put her wet dirty boots right on Patti’s rug. Patti took a deep breath and said, “Please don’t do that. Can you leave them outside? When you do that I need to spend a lot of time cleaning it up.” Shirley turned purple. Her eyes turned into little slits. She grabbed her boots and turned right around and ran out of the house. Patti was very confused.

What should Patti do?

Gentleman Pedestrian

2004-12-03T10:25:00.000-08:00

The other night I was about to pull into the parking lot when I saw that this guy was walking on the sidewalk, so I stopped to let him walk past. He stopped, looked at me, and gestured for me to go in first. What a gentleman! Would he have done the same if I had been a man? Should I have insisted that he go? I was quite impressed by this pedestrian.

It looks like the Messenger 7 beta is finally out. http://messenger.msn.com/beta I see they decided to go with the term 'nudge' for the feature that shakes the IM window. Before I left MS, I sent a bunch of emails with naming suggestions for this feature. Nudge was on my list. I wonder if that's where they got it from. I can't remember all my suggestions. I think I liked 'jolt' too, but it was already an energy drink. (Yahoo calls this feature 'buzz.') It looks like some of my stuff didn't make it into the beta. Bummer! That's pretty much what happens after you leave anyway. But winks got in and that's very exciting to see. I hope they come out with some new free content!

Swamped

2004-11-30T14:34:00.000-08:00

So much homework! Finals are coming. Lots of papers. Lots of projects. Losing lots of sleep. I'm a zombie. Nothing interesting is happening in my life because I'm too busy with school. B's really busy too. I haven't seen him in a while.

I almost got to see DW in NY this weekend but he didn't get in until late and I had to go to my Godfather's 50th birthday party. Maybe next time. I did get to see a ton of people from my high school class. I got to meet Amanda's new beau, Ben. I gave him 2 thumbs up. Maybe some day my Ben with meet her Ben...

Blushing

2004-11-23T08:44:00.000-08:00

I received an email from HH(!) yesterday. Definitely blushed. It had been over 3 years aside from a random sighting at reunions in which I blinked.

I can't wait to go home and chill with the fam. I miss my little sister. I wish she'd just get home from Nepal already. Hopefully by next Thanksgiving...

Tivo causes a whole new set of tv wars. There's the "Don't change the channel, I'm Tivo-ing something!" and "Why didn't you pause it and wait for me so we could watch it together?!" and "You better pause it while I go to the bathroom." and "Why did you delete that show before I watched it!" and "It's MY Tivo so I get priority." If you're real quiet you can hear the households around America. FTR, I LOVE my Tivo.

2004-11-21T23:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I've been the most negative and critical and just awful to be around, that's when B is so sweet and loving. He kills me with kindness when I don't even deserve it one bit. That kind of patience and self-control astounds me. It's like a higher lifeform.

I sent my roommate an email with links to articles on cell-phone etiquette. I think she took it more seriously than I intended. We're all good now, though.

I had pad thai tonight without the peanuts.

I ended up getting so nervous about my standardized test on Saturday (the MTEL) but it didn't seem to difficult. It's hard to tell with that kind of test. I had to write 2 entire essays with a number 2 pencil.

The Elements of Style

2004-11-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful little book! The Elements of Style by Strunk and White. I purchased it yesterday, and I am currently half-way through. I am now much more aware of my grammar. I learned the definition of a gerund. Everybody should have a copy of this book.

The reason I purchased a grammar book is that I am taking a standardized test on Saturday. I'm taking the Communication & Literacy section of the MTEL (Massachusetts Test for Education Licensure). It shouldn't be too hard, but standardized tests are a sort of game for me. I like to see just how high I can score, even though I know it doesn't truly measure my knowledge. It's not easy to become a teacher in Massachusetts. I have to take two more standardized tests in the Spring. People actually fail these things. I think that's great. We trust our children with these people. They better be modeling proper language skills and know how to add a few numbers.

My little Strunk book is near and dear to me because it reminds me of one of my greatest English teachers, Ms. Sandler. Ms. Sandler was a beacon of sunshine in my life. She made me love vocabulary, and commas, and Toni Morrison. She was my proctor when I took the SATs and my score rose 230 points that day. She stopped teaching when she had her first child. I hope she decides to go back to Nyack High School some day.

Let it Snow!!!

2004-11-12T20:44:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful day. It snowed all day and it was beautiful. Michelle is playing some amazing music and she lit this really great smelling vanilla candle. I don't have too much work to do this weekend. I spent a cozy morning with B. I went to a chick flick with Alexandra (Bridget Jones Diary 2). And I'm just plain happy. Life is good.

Minnie is Dead

2004-11-12T10:51:00.000-08:00

It all started with a phone call. I'm starting to dread these phone calls from my roommate. We caught another mouse, she says. It's head is stuck in the trap, she says. Is it dead? I ask. Yes, she says, but it's right by the fridge and I can't get any food. Come home and we can take care of it together. She's quiet... There's this white stuff, she says, by the head and I don't know what it is. I think it might be something it coughed up. I think it came out of the head.

This one was tiny. Definitely a mouse. Michelle was freaked. She had to use the bag to pick it up and throw it out. She was brave. As brave as anyone could be on your first time. This incident wasn't as bad because it was stuck in the trap so 1) there was no chance of it coming back to life and running at us, and 2) it could be picked up by the trap, without touching the actual mouse at all. I took some pictures again. The strange substance by the head was the peanut butter. I had planned to put away the traps this weekend. Guess not.

K, I apologize for this post. I had big plans to post about how great my life is going these days. I didn't invite Minnie over. Don't click on the link below.
JR, Don't tell me this is a rat.
M, Welcome to the blog. Did you find me by googling Michelle?
B, I hope this won't stop you from coming over
D, I posted a pic just for you
G, If this is adulthood, I'm going back.

http://www2.bc.edu/~mulcahkg/images/minnie.jpg

I set another trap today.

By Request...

2004-11-08T20:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, by request, I posted the dead mouse. Warning, this is a gross picture, so don't click on the link if you don't want to see it! http://www2.bc.edu/~mulcahkg/images/mouse.jpg

And to answer the question about my Kathleen Day, I have to admit I got bored after about an hour and a half. I wrote a little and read a little but I guess that's all I needed.

I went shopping over the weekend and bought a pair of boots with heels from Aldo and a lap desk from Levinger. Tonight I just got back from watching some Monday night football. It's not really my thing but it was fun to be social. The question of the night was, if you had an infinite amount of money, what sports team would you buy? I would buy a Seattle team so I had an excuse to go out there more often. I'm not sure which team though. Mariners, Seahawks, or Sonics. Tough choice. Since I've never been to a Seahawks game, I'd probably pick either Mariners or Sonics. I'm thinking the Mariners. They have such a great stadium and it's the great American pasttime.

Mickey is Dead

2004-11-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

It all started with a phone call. Michelle called on Saturday morning to say she heard noises in my bedroom. It sounded like nibbling and it stopped when she called out my name. After a little while it started up again. She said she thought it was a mouse or rat. This was very unsettling to hear.

Saturday, the hunt started. I looked for anything that had been nibbled. I cleaned the room, picking up things from the floor. Then I discovered it. My halloween candy in a brown paper bag from school. With some tiny nibbles in the corner. This was both alarming and reassuring. With such tiny nibbles, it had to be a tiny animal. It hadn't even made it through the paper to the candy.

Saturday afternoon was time for a Home Depot run. Time to buy some traps. It was surprisingly busy in the mouse trap aisle. Many people were discussing which traps were best and whether or not to use poison. A worker said that the mice in the store ironically like to hang out near the traps. I chose 4 standard spring-loaded mouse traps for a totaly of $2, and 4 sticky traps for a total of $3.

Saturday evening, I set the traps up throughout the apartment. I used peanut butter on the spring-loaded traps as bait. Then I waited. And waited. And waited.

Sunday morning comes and I awake to some sounds. I sat completely still for about 10 minutes but I didn't hear anything else. I had made myself paranoid. I went out for a while on Sunday and when I returned, I noticed that all of the peanut butter had been licked off the trap in the kitchen. Smart mouse. I decided that I did not want to lure any mice into my bedroom, so I moved that trap into the kitchen to double up. Each of those spring-loaded traps were set up with a sticky trap next to it. I wanted to cover my bases and not be outsmarted again.

Ben ask me, "Do you know what the problem is with mouse traps?" I asked what. "You might catch a mouse!" Ack! I hadn't considered what I would do if I actually caught one.

Monday morning nothing new. One of the traps may or may not have been licked a little. I can't remember how much peanut butter used to be there. I go to class and return. No change. I turn off the light in the kitchen and go into my bedroom to do homework.

SNAP! ACK!!!!!!! Holy Crap! It couldn't have been. I pick up my feet so they're not touching the floor and listen. A tiny little sound of movement then nothing. I'm totally freaked. With my feet still in the air, I grab some shoes and put them on. I tiptoe hesitantly toward the kitchen. I'm freaking out inside, expecting something to run up my leg or something. I'm not sure what. I reach my hand into the kitchen to turn on the light, standing on my tip toes. I glance at trap #1. Nothing. I look towards #2. ACK! A tiny little mouse on its side. It doesn't appear to be moving. I jump back and stand on a chair. Oh my gosh. What am I going to do. Where's my roommate when I need her?

I call Ben. Get over here! He's somewhere out near Providence. He advises me to get a shovel and laughs and laughs. I call my parents and leave a message requesting help. I call my Granny and she answers. She laughs and laughs. She tells me that she won't get off the phone until I get a bag, pick up the mouse with the bag, and throw it out. It takes a long time. She says not to use the shovel. She laughs and laughs. I'm still freaking out. There is mouse blood on the floor and on the traps. The mouse had been thrown from the trap.

Now Mickey and the two traps are in the dumpster. I have replaced those two traps. I hope that is the last of the mice but I will not let my guard down. I'm still a little freaked. Oh, I left out the part where I took pictures. I'm not sure why, but it seemed like the right thing to do. Should I post one? Or would that be too disturbing?

Kathleen Day

2004-11-05T10:17:00.000-08:00

I'm having a Kathleen Day today. I'm sure that tells oodles about my personality. A Kathleen Day mainly consists of reading and writing and not having any plans or commitments. Usually it's a lot of pleasure reading, but since I'm so behind in my school reading, I'm going to do some of that. I haven't written in my journal since 9/20/04. That's the only entry I've written since moving to Boston. I have a lot to think about and reflect on. It can be hard to have a me day when I have a roommate because that kind of interferes with the solitary nature of the day. So far no sign of roommie today...

Blogger is making me mad

2004-11-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

I sent in a post Wednesday night and it still hasn't gone up yet. If I post it again, then I'll end up with 2. It's a bit frustrating. Anyway, here's the post from Wednesday night:

I don't like to get too much into politics on my blog, but I will admit that it's a sad day for America, and I am pretty disappointed in what I have to imagine is ignorance in the majority of American people. I really hope that I'm wrong and that Bush either grows a brain or makes some smart friends overnight. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Somewhere out there Osama is laughing.

The election party had the best brownies ever! And lots of blue shirts. It was kind of loud with all the drunk people, so we couldn't really hear all the news. It was probably just as good. The high point was when Pennsylvania was announced. And the brownies. I've never been so unhappy to see the color red.

I'm thinking about writing a novel for November.

Missing Post

2004-11-02T17:10:00.000-08:00

I posted on my birthday but I just realized that it never published so I just put it up now. So much for emailing in my blogger posts...

Birthday Fun

2004-11-02T16:07:00.000-08:00

Today, I've gotten lots of calls. One message was my mom along with little Alyssa singing Happy Birthday, but mostly Alyssa is giggling since she doesn't understand the concept of an answering machine yet and she knew I wasn't talking back. B and I walked into Harvard Square where he took me out to brunch. Later, we drove out to Concorde and walked along the trails of the Revolutionary war battles. The foliage was gorgeous, and it was good to be away from the city.

Yesterday morning, I went to the Red Sox parade with B, Devon, Brett, Kelly, and Yvonne. I got to see my favorite players up close. It was awesome!! I saw Ortiz and Damon and Manny and Pedro and Bronson and Derek. I have some great pics and even some video! I might post it online soon.

Tuesday night Alexandra is having an Election Day get-together and I'm really psyched for it.

Birthday Fun

2004-10-31T14:22:00.000-08:00

Last night was a lot of fun. I invited a bunch of people out to the Bell in Hand downtown to celebrate my birthday in costume. I was the tooth fairy. There were lots of other fun costumes and the band was great. It was a mix of Princeton friends, BC friends, Boston friends, and roommates of friends. I didn't end up drinking very much, which was probably for the best, and B got me a Grey Goose Gimlet which was terrific. Overall, a very fun night. The first time I've gone out dancing since I moved here.

Today, I've gotten lots of calls. One message was my mom along with little Alyssa singing Happy Birthday, but mostly Alyssa is giggling since she doesn't understand the concept of an answering machine yet and she knew I wasn't talking back. B and I walked into Harvard Square where he took me out to brunch. Later, we drove out to Concord and walked along the trails of the Revolutionary war battles. The foliage was gorgeous, and it was good to be away from the city.

Yesterday morning, I went to the Red Sox parade with B, Devon, Brett, Kelly, and Yvonne. I got to see my favorite players up close. It was awesome!! I saw Ortiz and Damon and Manny and Pedro and Bronson and Derek. I have some great pics and even some video! I might post it online soon.

Tuesday night Alexandra is having an Election Day get-together and I'm really psyched for it.

FLOWERS!!!

2004-10-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

B sent me the most beautiful flowers as an early birthday present. There are reds and purples and yellows with roses and some flowers of which I don't know the names. They make my apartment smell so good!

Red Sox Craze and My Lesson

2004-10-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night was a big night. First I had a midterm, then my science demonstration, then game 7 of the ACLS. The midterm was no problem. My science demo went really well judging from the feedback I got from people. Although after class, I went to the bathroom and noticed that my fly had been open. Oops! And on the day I decided to wear red underwear for the Red Sox. I don't think anyone noticed. Either way, my lucky drawers worked because the Red Sox got the job done, and my favorite guy, Damon, got a grand slam and a home run. Too bad I missed them both since I was still in class. I caught the 2nd half of the game with Megs and Alex in a bar in Harvard Square. The entire neighborhood ERUPTED when they won. It was crazy fun. I have a pic on my phone but I haven't figured out how to get it off yet.

Now I'm off to hang out with B.

Anxiety and the Exclusion Principle

2004-10-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling really overburdened the past few days and I seem to be missing a large part of my life. I'm not quite sure what to do about it, but the question of whether or not I am a good person keeps arising out of situations. Let me start by relaying a story about my friend V in Seattle.

V was a little extreme in his beliefs about friendship. V consciously made a decision to spend all social time with a few close friends. V found it a waste of time to go out with people that were not close friends. V mostly scheduled small gatherings and, every once in a while, would go to a large party to support a friend. Some people might say that V was exclusive and not open to meeting new people. I found that V did meet new people, but only continued to spend time with them if V thought it was worth it.

I am similar to V in that I have meaningful connections in small groups of 2 or 3 people, including myself. I have great conversations and get the most out of one-on-one situations. I enjoy going to lots of parties and hanging out in large groups, but I NEED a lot of small group encounters to feel fulfilled.

In Seattle, I was able to achieve this by having a few small groups of friends that only really overlapped for large parties. Unfortunately in Boston, hanging out in small groups is frowned upon. I feel like I have been reprimanded or given the evil eye for wanting smaller groups. People think I'm being exclusive. Maybe I am just selfish, but I don't think it's a mean thing. I want to hang out with lots of people - just not all together. My situation in Boston is extreme in that there's actually an email list with about 50 people, and all are invited to everything. When I invited some people over to watch the baseball game, I made up a smaller email list of what I thought would be a fun group. I got shit for not inviting all 50 people. I want to cry. In school we have many projects that can be done with 2-4 people. I always try to get a 2 person group, but the 2nd person always invites in more people. It becomes a scheduling nightmare, things take longer, and I think the work is lower quality because it becomes more about getting things done than collaborating. If I ever make plans without my roommate, I'm made to feel guilty by other people for not inviting her.

Perhaps I am letting other people's judgements get to me too much. This is ridiculous. I should be allowed to hang out with just a few friends without everyone going apeshit on me. I understand that some people prefer large groups. Maybe that means I need to extract myself altogether from this large group. I can't imagine that all of them are against smaller groups. To me it seems like taking the idea of being inclusive too far. If I want to grab a few drinks, do I really have to invite the 20 people on the list that I have never even met?

I think Bb in Seattle had a similar problem. After he moved away, when he would visit, he had to secretly schedule hang-out time with me and other people. I heard a few times that Bb was in town, but I understood if I didn't hear from him because I knew I'd get some quality Bb time when he was available.

Ack. I need some meaningful relationships.

Red Sox Nation

2004-10-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

I’ve become I Red Sox fan since I moved to Boston. It’s a fun team to follow but it’s not always easy. Last night it took 14 innings. Something like 5 hours and 48 minutes to beat the Yankees. But they got it done. We’ll see what happens in the Bronx tonight. It’s a shame the Mets didn’t have a very good season. They’re my true #1 team. The Red Sox is like my adopted child. Is that incorrect grammar? Hmmm.

It’s a rainy day in Boston. Again. It seems like every Tuesday it rains. My right sock is wet. Squish squish.

Tomorrow I have to do a science demonstration on sound for my grad student class. It should be good. There’s a lot of banging involved. I showed it to my roommate and she liked it. I use a drum to show how the eardrum can pick up sound wave vibrations from the air.

Pizza

2004-10-17T16:33:00.000-07:00

I miss pizza. I missed pizza a lot when I was in Seattle. It used to be a Friday treat when I was growing up in NY. A nice thin crispy slice of cheese pizza. Yum. In Seattle, you have to buy a whole pie, and they never can get it quite right. I thought when I moved to Boston, I'd be able to eat good pizza again, but I haven't had one good slice in Boston since I moved. I need to do some exploring. I know a great place in Harvard Square but the only time I'm there is with B, and he's not usually in the mood for pizza. Since he doesn't have many food restrictions and I'm so ridiculously picky, I can't really force him to come to pizza. But one of these days I really need a good slice of pizza. Pizza pizza. Yum.

The lesson went pretty well. The class wasn't as far ahead as the teacher thought they would be, so I couldn't teach what I had planned. I made up a new lesson during lunch about "1 more, 1 less, and equal" but the language I needed to use was "1 more, 1 fewer, and as many." They really seemed to get it when we sat in a circle playing with cubes and solving problems. They could even come up to the whiteboard and figure some out. But when we got to the worksheets, they suddenly couldn't figure out what "fewer" and "as many" meant. Those worksheets are so confusing! It stinks that we need to use them. I learned that the word "fewer" is a new word for a lot of first graders. "1 less" is easier. They just take one away and re-count. "As many" also doesn't make any sense at all to them. Does it need to? I don't think so. I think as long as they understand the concept of equal and 2 piles being the same, then that's fine. The vocabulary will come later. It's hard for them to complete worksheets when they have trouble reading the word problems since they're just learning to read too. I think it's a fun challenge. Next time I'm going to do the originally planned math games.

My First Lesson

2004-10-14T04:36:00.000-07:00

I have my first lesson of the semester at school today. Hopefully I won't screw it up too badly. I'm reviewing two math concepts: odd/even and greater than/less than. Both are math games, so it should be fun for the first graders. Should. I don't usually pack a lunch to go anywhere, so all I had in the apartment was peanut butter and jelly. That'll be kind of embarassing in the teachers' lounge... I had to wake up before the sun today. That's going to require some getting used to.

Bummer about the Red Sox 0-2 with the Yanks. Hopefully at the home games this week they'll pick up their game. Johnny Damon's my favorite player.

bad smells and baseball

2004-10-12T18:23:00.000-07:00

rough night. (not really.) my apartment reeks of coffee - i happen to be grossed out by the smell of coffee, and the yankees are beating the red sox. they have 6 innings to come back. i'll cross my fingers.

it's hard to find time to blog. time seems to be going really fast, but it feels productive too. life is generally very good.

last weekend i went home to ny from friday night to sunday afternoon. it was good to see my parents and everyone else. i raided the bookshelves of my little cousins for an assignment and played some wiffle ball while i was over there. i also got to watch some fun bike tricks and push little alyss on a swing. friday night i caught the end of the nyack high school homecoming football game with my mom. it was cool to see all of that again. not much has changed. the cheerleaders have better uniforms now. nyack kicked butt. mr. pesner the gym teacher was the announcer. it was a good blast from the past.

i'm enjoying all this presidential stuff, learning about so many issues. unfortunately i found out that washington has become a swing state, and i already changed my voter registration to massachusetts. oh well. everyone i know except for my old boss was voting for the better guy anyway. i trust that they'll come through. i'm creating a 3rd grade social studies unit on voting. if you have any good information/games/links, let me know.

Web Problems

2004-10-04T20:57:00.000-07:00

I had a little problem with my link so I tried to fix it and I had a new problem - the disappearing post. I think it's all back and fixed. Blogger was having major issue's on the Boston College campus. I wonder if they block posting or something. Anyway, no problem at all; everything's back on track. I should be writing a paper right now, yet somehow I choose to blog.

I had to make a cheesy website for my math class. http://www2.bc.edu/~mulcahkg They insisted that we have an entire page with a mailto: link instead of just having the initial Email/Contact link be the mailto: link. We were also required to use cheesy clipart. My first attempt wouldn't load on a Mac. I had to fix it since my professor uses a Mac. I ended up with a "Super job on this website. Full credit." Pretty exciting. The website I worked on at MS was a bit more challenging.

The Communist Party

2004-10-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

Ben's birthday was today and there was a big party at his apartment last night. The theme (having nothing to do with Ben) was "The Communist Party." People had the option to wear red, dress like a famous communist, or make up some creative costume. My favorite was the couple (Devon and Devon) that came as The Warsaw Pact. See the pics for details. There were headshots of famous communist dictators on the walls along with red balloons and a birthday cake with a hammer & sickle.

People got pretty drunk and a few even did kegstands, not including myself. I think it's kind of gross that everyone puts their mouth on the spigot thing. People didn't seem to want to leave even when the music was turned down. I eventually went to bed at 3:15 since I was exhausted with all the birthday planning. Ben came to bed at 4:30am.

We had a fun day today. We did the present opening in the morning, then I took Ben to brunch at a funky place in Harvard Square. We also drove up to this outdoor sculpture park and walked around. The leaves are beautiful! The views out here are so different from in Seattle. Usually Seattle wins out, but not this season.

I know this is a pretty boring entry but my brain is so fried this weekend and I still have homework to do. My roommate should be returning from a blind date any minute and I'm sure she'll have lots to say about it, so I best get back to my homework.

Dance Party

2004-09-28T16:14:00.000-07:00

What a FABULOUS day! It poured rain and it was splitter splatter shimmering. I had a spontaneous dance party at my apartment with Haagen-Daz. I was the only one there. The music was from Forest Gump and it started with Respect by Aretha Franklin. Ok, it really started with a solo of I Will Survive. Anyway I gotta go pick up my roommate. Maybe she’ll join in.

All about Technology

2004-09-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

I had no idea just how into technology I was until tonight when I picked up my new laptop from the UPS place. I was seriously giddy. Like screaming and clapping and dancing in my car, singing to myself. I rarely get this excited about presents. This was a gift I bought myself, thanks to my final ms bonus. I love it! It's so tiny and beautiful. I was pretty excited when I got my Creative Zen Nomad thingy too. And my cell phone. But this one takes the cake. It makes even my small swiss army laptop bag seem huge. That's ok though. I need the room for books.

Shock & Stress

2004-09-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

I think I'm still in shock from the huge change in my life. I pretty much turned it inside out. Went from working to school. From Seattle to Boston. From being rich to being on a budget. From Microsoft to teaching. From LDR to SDR. From Seattle friends to college friends. From living alone to living with a roommate. From reading for pleasure to reading textbooks. From using a laptop to using a paper notebook.

All this change has put my brain into overdrive. I dream and dream and dream at night. The strangest things. I can't stop in the morning. It's hard to wake up because I can still feel my brain processing all the input from the previous day. There's lots of input. So far I've had to do a lot of reading/listening but not much more. This week the papers start. Perhaps that will be a good outlet for me. Maybe it'll release some pressure on my brain. Can it even hold any more? I know SO MUCH about teaching right now that I didn't even realize I needed to know. And I've reinforced a lot of old knowledge from my education courses at Princeton. It's nuts, I tell you.

I ordered an IBM Thinkpad X40. I'm superexcited about it, but I won't be able to live up to Microsoft's big dream for education. It would be pretty much impossible to use a laptop or tablet in class to take notes. The teachers can barely use technology. I haven't seen a single person with a laptop in all of my classes. A lot of the activities are hands on and involve you talking to the person next to you or across from you, so the laptop could even be in the way. Maybe I'll write more about it later, but it's kind of a shame. I certainly would appear like the obnoxious Microsoft girl if I started taking notes on a laptop in class. I remember when the Tablet PC people at MS first got their tablets and they seemed totally obnoxious taking notes on their tablet. It would be like that times a million.

Where have all the laptops gone?

Hint for the Movie Quote

2004-09-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

Here's some hints for my movie trivia below.

It's not animated. It's old. And people speak with Irish accents.

The Door in the Floor

2004-09-19T07:01:00.001-07:00

Last night I saw "The Door in the Floor" with Ben, Michelle, Martin, Rob, Juliet, and newguyDave. FASCINATING movie. I loved it. It's about a writer of children's books, which is pretty topical for me right now, but everyone seemed to love it. It has great symbolism, really good characters, and keeps you drawn in the entire time. I highly recommend it.

Here's a movie quiz for you. What movie does this quote come from?
Three wishes I'll grant you,
Big wishes and small,
But if you wish a fourth wish
You lose them all!

Here's a hint. I used to watch it over and over as a kid, but I still love it.

Mad Scientist

2004-09-19T07:01:00.000-07:00

About that scientist drawing. Most people, when given this assignment to draw a scientist, draw someone with many of the following characteristics. A white male with glasses, wearing a labcoat, possibly holding some test tubes. He usually has either a beard or crazy hair and is sometimes even labeled "crazy" or "mad." This assignment has been given to first graders in the US with the same results. I haven't scanned in my scientist yet, but I drew myself, with lots of those characteristics. A white female with glasses and a lab coat, smiling, holding a test tube, question marks coming out of the head, and "sense" lines coming from the ears and fingers. She's surrounded by a cloud, a mountain, a flower, and an animal.

So what's the point? Kudos to Chris for figuring this out. At such a young age, children have internalized this stereotype of a scientist. Research has shown it only grows stronger as they get older, especially with people drawing white males. This can really discourage individuals who are not white and male from seeing themselves as scientific. My textbook says that this is one thing that leads to the gender gap in science. Anyway, good job for participating, and next time you want to see a scientist, look in the mirror. (cheesy grin here.) My ego about my science skills led me to draw myself. I bet a bunch of my friends did too, right MikeB?

One interesting thing I've discovered hear is that most people trying to be elementary school teachers don't like math and science. I am a tiny tiny minority. My textbooks are actually apologetic, and they take the job of convincing people to like math and science. Granted I have some liberal textbooks that insist that the old ways of teaching by rote memorization created a generation of math & science-haters, but it's discouraging when I do my reading. Over and over I have to read stuff like "You probably didn't enjoy mathematics yourself as a child." or "If you don't like science, your students never will. You need to reflect and find your inner scientist." I want books that LOVE math and science like I do. Why doesn't my social studies text apologize?