no more cranky-pants

it's a new year. a new start. i think i'm going to try to dress a little better this year. i'll try not to wear jeans at least once a week. and defintely no more cranky-pants.

last year i was wearing my cranky-pants for the whole first half of the year. nothing seemed to go my way. and i was kind of mean to people, not because i had bad intentions, but more as a self-preservation mode. i needed to tip-toe around myself since i was in a fragile state and had to try hard not to do things to make it worse. for example, driving was extremely stressful in boston, so i rarely offered to drive my car-less roommate anywhere. pretty awful. and i was so tired all the time, so either i didn't accept invitations to hang out, or i showed up and was superlame "debbie downer". i rarely offered to buy people drinks because i didn't have any money, and i wasn't up for going to concerts or shows because it was too expensive. i had 3 jobs and very little free time, so kind of felt bad for myself and pampered myself in the rare time i had free. by pampering, i mean i'd veg out and just watch tv. in those rare times when i could watch tv, i'd get all huffy and mad if my roommate was taking over the living room, even though it was just as much hers as it was mine, and she was stressed with school and lots of other stuff herself. i wanted to spend time with her but i really really needed my alone time to like heal or something - deal with myself and all my issues. i also got angry if b didn't try to align his free time with mine, and if he did, i'd be all tired and want to just hang out, which juxtaposed with his desire to take on beantown.

the first half was tough, but after moving, i was pretty easy on myself for the rest of 2006. i bought myself stuff, got lots of sleep, watched tv, partied a lot. i think it's safe to say that my mental state is back to normal (whatever normal is). so no more cranky-pants this year, but i think it's time to start getting some real work done, taking on challenges, etc. less vegging out this year. i'm going to learn lots of new things. i read 3 books in the last 10 days and did a lot of writing on top of that. with a little gumption, i should be able to keep that momentum going. i'm also hoping to sign up for volunteering in a school since i really miss teaching. and finish at least 2 paintings. i realize that's not exactly a reach goal, but it's only january 3rd.

back to work.